Day 326

I spotted this when I went into the local village today. 

The words on the board struck a chord with me and got me thinking.

The thorns of truth that have pricked me lately:

1. I have been rejected by the person whom I love the most.
2. I have failed at something that I valued highly – my marriage.
3. My youth is gone.
4. My life is more than half over.

The roses that are beginning to blossom from each of those thorns:

1. Rejection has always been the thing I’ve feared the most. Most of the things I’ve done in my life, I’ve done in order to feel accepted. I know it’s pathetic, but it’s true. The thing I feared the most in the whole world has now happened to me, and from the person I was closest to, whose rejection was bound to hurt me more than anyone else's. It was, and still is, terribly painful, but I’m still here. Once you’ve faced your biggest fear, the power that fear in all its forms holds over your life begins to ebb away. It's incredibly liberating and empowering.
2. Yes, I failed. I made mistakes and I paid for them. However, I’ve also learned from those mistakes. A huge amount. If I’m ever in the position again where I’m about to embark on a romantic relationship (a situation that I can’t even begin to imagine right now), I’ll remember the lessons I’ve learned. And I don't need to wait until some mythical, fairy-tale future to apply the lessons I've learned. I can apply them now, in all my relationships with other people - family members, friends, acquaintances and strangers alike. Also, just because I’ve failed at something important, it doesn’t mean I’m a failure. :P
3. Youth is beguiling, for sure, and its loss is upsetting (oh for 20/20 vision again!), but wisdom is worth so much more. And my stores of that particular commodity are just going to carry on going up and up with each passing year. Bring it on!
4. The chances that I’ll live for another 46 years are statistically pretty slim (although there is a centenarian branch in my family, so you never know). The years I’ve lived so far have certainly been good, but I’m convinced that the ones ahead of me are going to be even better (irrespective of how many of them I’ve got left). After all, I’m wiser and less fearful. That’s got to mean I’m going to make bolder and better decisions. And better decisions usually bring about better consequences.