Tuesday, 4 October 2011

Day 264

I've been missing Iain so much. Any moments when I'm not giving my mind something else to concentrate on, I find myself thinking about him. Not all of the thoughts are full of rage, regret or pain. Some of them are loving thoughts. But whatever the 'flavour' of the thought, thinking about Iain is making me distressed. I'm keeping myself as busy as possible to reduce the amount of 'brooding time' I have.

Until this week, at least I could take refuge from my thoughts about Iain while I was asleep. But over the last few days, he's started to crop up in my dreams as well. I guess it's just my brain trying to process the loss, but it would be nice to get some respite! I really need to train myself to think about him less. But it's not easy to break a 25 year-old habit.

To help combat the 'poor little me's' over being left on my own, I've drawn up a list of advantages of living alone. So far I've found 42 things that are really good about living on your own. I've got that list in a handy place so that whenever I'm feeling lonely, I read a few of the items on it, and remind myself that things aren't all that bad, after all.

Today's photo is a bit of a cop-out. You can always tell when I'm copping out, because I take a photo of the cat. Looking at the state of the bed when I took this shot, I'm beginning to think that buying a predominantly white duvet cover when I have a predominantly black cat with permanently muddy paws was not such a good idea! ;-)

1 comment:

  1. It may sound strange Helen, and it is just my opinion, but I think the fact that you can have loving thoughts about Iain is a very good thing.
    Sending hugs your way.